It hurts a lot to see a marriage falling apart especially if the couple has children. Children mainly are the reason why most partners especially women, want to save a marriage on the brink of divorce. Many couples fight, throw harmful tools, and hurl insults to each other and finally part ways.
Infidelity, lack of financial support, lack of communication, barrenness and the like are some of the issues that can cause partners to divorce. Nevertheless, divorce is not an effective way of solving a marriage problem.
While it is not easy to save your marriage; it is possible. Yes, even when it seems like there is no hope for your marriage today, you can try out some of the most effective ways that can restore your marriage. So, which are these ways that can save your marriage on the brink of divorce?
Below are six effective ways of saving your marriage today.
1. Identify the Cause of the Problem
Of course, it all started somewhere, right? Get some space away from your partner and slowly start flashing back. When did you start feeling angry with your partner? What did he do that made you feel mad? Did he come home late? Did he fail to pay rent on time? Did she prepare your breakfast late thus causing you to arrive late in the office which eventually made your boss scold you?
In response to what made you unhappy, how did you react? Identifying the cause of the problems your marriage is going through is one of the ways of solving the problem. You see, you cannot solve a problem that you have not identified. So, take time and determine the cause of the problems in your marriage.
Once you have identified the problem, chances are that you will find fault in your partner. So what do you do?
2. Stop Blaming Each Other
One of the most effective ways to save a marriage on the brink of divorce is to avoid blaming your partner.
This, however, doesn’t mean that your partner is innocent neither does it mean you are weak. No, not at all! But it would be easy to save your marriage by saying how you feel about the state of your marriage than hurling insults to your partner as you blame each other for the breakup.
If you start blaming your partner, most likely he will disrupt you as you talk or not listen to you. Your spouse will become angry thereby pushing the two of you further apart. That way, your marriage will not stand the storm.
You may also want to read: Long Distance Marriage: Tips to Make it Work For You
3. Listen To Your Partner: Communicate
On the brink of divorce in most cases, both parties need to listen to each other. Each person has an issue that must be dealt with to save the marriage.
Let me give an example. If the husband feels angry because the wife arrives home late and he hardly questions her but assumes she has some love affairs with other men, what do you think will eventually be of that marriage? Okay. What if he decides to avenge himself by having extramarital affairs too?
See, lack of communication can cause a lot of problems between couples. Don’t assume things. Don’t be quick to judge. Ask questions, listen to answers. Let communication take control of your marriage. Listening to your spouse is one of the effective ways to save your marriage today. And remember, everybody wants to feel esteemed and valued.
Therefore, let your spouse speak first as you listen. Show how much attention you are by nodding your head. Eventually, you will realize that it is easy for your partner to listen to you when it is your turn to speak. Yes, just because you took time to listen carefully without saying a word even when you disagreed with what your spouse was saying.
That is why it’s vital to learn how to talk in a manner that attracts the attention of your partner. Open up and tell your partner how you feel about the state of your marriage.
4. Express Your Feelings
On the brink of divorce, it is crucial to speak out. Express your feelings without hiding a thing in your heart. Let your spouse know that you feel bitter, rejected, uncared for, and worried about your children being brought up by parents who are living away from each other.
It is not easy to speak out at this point without shouting and throwing things at your spouse but try and be calm. Breathe in and out if you must. Rush to the kitchen and get a glass of cold water but ensure you don’t shout at your partner. Sound foolish! It’s not. Aren’t you trying to save your marriage? You’ve got to take control now!
What about if your partner is not willing to listen to you?
5. Seek a Marriage Counselor
In some cases, it may be difficult to solve your differences together. Some people cannot control their anger unless someone else is involved. In such scenarios, seek help from a marriage counselor. Looking for a marriage counselor is one of the effective ways of saving a marriage.
However, you need to seek a counselor who successfully has been helping couples to save their marriages. Such counselors have much knowledge and experience and can help you out of the pit.
6. On The Brink of Divorce, Forgive and Love Again
We all make mistakes and desire that someone forgives and loves us again. In the same way, your partner is not an angel on earth. The wrongs that so badly hurt you can be forgotten. Learn how to let go and forgive your spouse. Yes, forgive your partner and love again.
That is not an easy thing to do, right? Learn how to let go and forgive your partner. Bury every pain and bitterness and renew your love again. Buy her some flowers, chocolate, and ice cream if she loves them. Iron his clothes; help him button his shirts before he walks out of the house.
Send him a text while he is in the office and hug him when he comes back. Carry her to the bedroom after dinner and spice it up with sex. The storms you once saw in your marriage will be no more.
Every marriage suffers some storms once in a while. The couple, therefore, has a choice to make and each decision has some consequences. The couple can decide to let go or save their marriage.
It is easy to let go than to save a marriage on the brink of divorce. If you choose to follow these 6 ways of saving a marriage, you will surely find it easy to save your marriage.