So, you know that is he is cheating on you? You are sure about it and have all the evidence to prove it?
Well, I know it breaks your heart. But wait…
Is it time to go telling everybody? Should you walk away right about now? Are you sure you are safe to have unprotected sex with him?
Should you start revenging? Have you evaluated yourself, yet to be sure you are not the cause of the mess in your marriage?
Trust me, you could be the reason he is cheating on you!
Yes, there is something you could be doing that is pushing him further away for good.
See, there are things you need to avoid when he is cheating on you-just before you call it over!
Do Not Shout It To The World
Most people believe that they can only heal by telling others what they are going through. And in instances where there is no one close to them to give them an ear, they will shout it out to the whole world through their social media networks.
That way; they feel a sense of relief and comfort for letting the rat out. But tell me, who in this world doesn’t value privacy and confidentiality? You? Him? Your children?
As much as it may cause relief in you; it may cause more trouble than you thought. In some instances, once he knows about it, he may become violent and may even look for means to get rid of you. Getting rid of you may also include killing you.
Well, it is good to speak out if that is the only way to heal, but not everyone should know your family’s issues. The worst people to tell that he is cheating on you is your relatives and close friends.
Your relatives may react quickly and make things worse for you.
So, who then should you tell?
The best person (and not always) is a family counselor who has helped others reunite with their loved ones in the past. Find out what those who have been under his counsel says about him before you confide with him.
Don’t Walk Out, Yet!
Financially stable women believe that they can cope alone and live a better life without a man who is cheating on them. Well, that may be true but not always.
See, the reason you got married to that man is not that you did not have money, right? And if that is why you did, then your marriage is standing on shaky ground.
Yes. Let me tell you why.
Life’s events are unpredictable. So, in case he loses his job, and you have no job, chances are that you will desert him. Isn’t that so? That is why I said your marriage might be on shaky ground if it is founded on love for money.
Nevertheless, if that is not the case and you are financially stable, and you realize that he is cheating on you, the first move is to gather all the evidence you can.
Next, politely ask him about it. At times, jealous people can say anything about your husband to initiate conflicts in your marriage. Other times, they may see your husband with another woman who actually is a workmate or a relative, and think that he is unfaithful to you.
I mean, not all that reaches your ears about your husband is true.
If you have not seen it yourself, then it is not worth believing and walking out immediately. Again, even in the case you have full evidence and he reveals that he has been cheating on you; it is always good to give him another chance if he is willing to change.
Never Fight Or Kill The Other Woman
The first thing people do, in most cases, is to deal with the third person, the woman. It feels like getting rid of her is getting a permanent solution to the issues surrounding your marriage.
Listen carefully to me.
It may look as if it is a permanent way of dealing with that problem at that time, but after that evil act, reality hits and the law takes over.
Chances are that you will spend the rest of your life in jail. See, if you can make your cheating husband change his character, you’ll not need to run after the other woman. He will just end contact with her, right?
So, try to sort out the issues between yourselves. Don’t even let him know you know the other woman or where they meet. In case she is one kind who keeps on making you calls to insult you or tell you malevolent things; block her permanently.
A wife with a good character is like a charm. If you persistently show kindness to your man, you will eventually win back his love for you. Plus, if you act wickedly to that woman, your husband might want to stand by her side, and that will make things worse than before.
Chances are that you will end up losing the battle.
Avoid Unprotected Sex If He Is Cheating On You
Yes, you heard me right. Avoid unprotected sex as soon as you realize he is cheating on you. You see, days have changed, and it has become difficult to differentiate one who has a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) with one who doesn’t.
That is why it is recommended not to have intercourse with a cheating husband.
Well, someone will argue out that keeping off sex is one way of pushing him further away.
Actually, it is believed that men cheat for sex while women do it to obtain love.
Yes, he may be looking for a better sex life from the other woman, but what do you know about that woman? Is it safe for you and your children to have (unprotected) sex with your cheating husband?
Do you want to visit your doctor and test positive, because you have been having intercourse with an HIV-positive husband? Stay away from sexual intercourse until you are sure that he is healthy.
Most people believe that revenge is the best way to punish somebody. That’s not right. It is foolishness to cheat on your husband because he is cheating on you.
Whatever your reasons may be, revenge should not be part of you.
Do not deny him a meal or stop doing your duties as a wife simply because you want to punish him. Just show him love and let it win him back.
If he wants to have intercourse with you, don’t deny him, but insist on protected sex. Wash his clothes and iron them. In short, don’t stop being the kind woman you have always been.
Although he doesn’t seem to take note of it now, one day he will definitely do, and will apologize for all the pain he has caused you.
Stop Assuming That He Is The Cause; You May Be The Cause, Too
Never assume things in marriage, especially when you get to know that he is cheating on you. It is good to find out the cause of the new behavior in your man.
There are many causes of infidelity in marriages, and one of them is a bad marriage. Being far away from each other, thus denying both of you emotional, and sexual closeness is another issue.
The author of, “Will Your Marriage Survive the Affair?“, Harriet Lerner, says, “Keep in mind that an affair is not a terrible aberration that only occurs in unhappy marriages. It’s a myth that the “real reason” behind an affair is a faulty spouse or bad marriage. A sexually and emotionally distant marriage will definitely make an affair more likely, but it’s also true that affairs happen in excellent marriages as well. Affairs have many sources, and opportunity and work context are among the predisposing factors.”
Therefore, before you can throw every kind of stone at your man, it is good to consider if you have contributed in any way to the current turn of events.
If yes, ask for forgiveness, promise to change then prove it.
Over To You
It is not yet over because he is cheating on you. It is not all gone; there is hope for you and your family. As much as you have done all that people have told you to do, he may never stop cheating until you stop doing all that I have pointed out in this article.
Nevertheless, you will have to act strong. Be of good courage. Be self-controlled to avoid all of the things I have pointed out. After all, it is for your own good.
Are you a victim of a cheating husband? How did you win him back?
Your experience may be a solution to another person reading this article.
Tell us about it.