Being in a sexless marriage is one way to show that there is no love for one another. However, that is not always the case. Nonetheless, 90 percent of sexless marriages can attest that they do not love each other.
On the other hand, there are a couple of other things that can lead to a lack of sex in a marriage.
For instance, some of the issues can be health problems, low libido, living far from each other, pregnancy-related issues, tiredness, and the presence of children.
Unfortunately, the lack of sex in a marriage can lead to horrible issues that can lead to divorce, infidelity, or regular fights.
So, how do you deal with it without cheating?
1. Identify the Cause of the Sexless Marriage
Every new marriage practices sex regularly since their marriage is young.
However, we don’t mean that every night should be a night of sexual intercourse. Not really. Of course, at times, feeling tired, worrying about bills and the like can cause withdrawal from sex. That is in order.
However, you need to know that sex in marriage plays a significant role, and being in a sexless marriage will make it much difficult. Thus, you need to deal with it as soon as you can.
So, ask yourself, “When did complete lack of intimate relationship start?” Take some time and flashback. Did you annoy your spouse and didn’t seek forgiveness, was there a case of infidelity, was it a job-related issue, or lack of money.
Finding out the cause will lead you to the next step; solving that issue. Solving may involve seeking a mediator or seeing a sex therapist.
This is crucial. See, unless you know the cause of lack of sex in your marriage, you cannot deal with it effectively. You must, therefore, know the root of the problem to be able to deal with it successfully and fast.
2. Look For a Mediator
As we have mentioned, if you are in a sexless marriage; you may also be struggling to find love from your spouse. In return, efforts to have a chat with your partner may not yield any good fruits. See, hatred is a barrier to effective communication in marriage, right?
That, therefore, means that there is a need to seek help from other people. However, ensure that the mediator is not a relative, a slanderous person, or a single person. The mediator should be a person of good characters.
In addition, the person must have been in marriage for long enough. He must have been able to sustain his marriage well and dealt with any differences amicably to be able to help you do the same.
The other most crucial thing you need to ensure when looking for a mediator is respect. This is what we are saying; ensure that your spouse respects that person enough to be able to pay attention to them and give them due respect throughout the conversation.
If your partner respects the mediator, it will be easy to speak out as well as deal with the issue of lack of sex.
3. Try a New Sex Posture
Well, having the same sex position all years with your partner may want them to draw away from sex. At times, it is good to try out new sex postures to make them enjoy it as well as a desire for more.
However, you should agree before trying out a unique style to ensure that both of you are comfortable.
Also, don’t do anything that your faith doesn’t allow. For instance, do not use tools such as sex toys if it is contrary to your faith.
On the other hand, once you try new styles, ask your partner the style that excites her most. You should also open up and tell her what excites. That way, you will overcome a sexless marriage without fights and seeking help from other people.
4. Talk to Her While You Touch Her
A touch can be a simple way to communicate something to your spouse. You may touch her hands, neck, hair, and other sensitive parts to arouse her feelings. However, do not just touch, talk to her. Say romantic words to her that will draw her attention to you.
Let her feel loved and treasured.
Talk about the best love moments you have ever had together. Let her know how they made you feel better.
You will not only be reviving her sexual desire, but you will also be preparing yourself. As a result, it will be easy to have sex, and a sexless marriage won’t be part of your marriage any longer.
5. Send Signals
At times, a sexless marriage is a result of sending signals to your partner. You see, once you call your partner and tell them how much you miss to be with them as well as how sexy they are, you make them start thinking about you.
Additionally, a romance text can set her body on fire and make her wants to have sex with you as soon as you set feet in your bedroom. In short, sending signals is one way to prepare the mind of your spouse so that they will get ready mentally and physically. That gives you a good time to make love later in the night or morning.
6. Deal With Stress
Did you know that stress significantly affects your sex drive? If there are issues that are causing stress in your marriage, you better deal with them today. Seek to know what is causing stress in you or your partner. Solve it. Why?
Stress affects greatly the hormones responsible for regulating sex arousal. This explains why you can’t perform when you have something stressing you. If you are not under stress, but your spouse is; help her get off that stress.
This could make your marriage turn around for life.
Dr. Fran Walfish, who is a family and relationship psychologist as well as author of The Self-Aware Parent says, “A married guy helping to reduce his wife’s (or spouse’s) stress levels can have a big positive impact on their sex life, and enjoy secondary gains by deepening the established marital trust.”
So, yes, when dealing with a sexless marriage, it is crucial to start by helping your spouse overcome stress. That alone could improve your sex life as a couple.
The Parting Shot
Don’t allow the first love to die. Sex brings you close to each other. A sexless marriage has no life and it can crumble anytime. It leaves the children suffering, and spouses wounded. It is not worth it. You can bring transformation in your marriage today by applying the above tips without cheating on your spouse.
Why not try it today?